


Begging

by Bluejay141519



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21947311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluejay141519/pseuds/Bluejay141519
Summary: Five times Zach takes care of Mitch, and the one time Mitch (technically) gets to return the favor.
Relationships: Auston Matthews/William Nylander, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Zach Hyman/Mitch Marner
Comments: 9
Kudos: 100
Collections: Hockey Holidays 2019





	Begging

**Author's Note:**

  * For [somehowunbroken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/somehowunbroken/gifts).

> Have to gush real quick, I *love* your hockey works, and I wish I had the time to churn out like fifty gift fics for you. I sort of took "sharing a bed' and 'taking care of each other' and ran with it, I hope you like it even though it's not what you specifically requested with the prompt. Happy holidays!
> 
> Title is from a song by Dua Lupa
> 
> TW for: throwing up/puking, hospitals, fear of needles, and anesthesia.
> 
> *all mistakes are mine, i edited while very tired.

**1.**

“Mitch?”

“I’m fine!” He calls, naively hoping the lie will pass for truth. It probably won’t.

It definitely won’t. He was puking a second ago. He can’t tell who it is, but hopefully they won’t come into the restroom. 

Mitch snorts to himself, then groans as his head throbs. Like that would happen. He loves the Leafs, and they all mostly love each other. It creates a fun dynamic where there’s a lot of mother-henning that goes on when one of them is sick or hurt. A hilarious concept, seeing as no one can take care of  _ themselves _ , but if its another person they turn into world renown doctors or something.

“Auston said you didn’t look very fine.” There’s a few shuffles and thumps that Mitch recognizes as skates being take off. The bathroom is tile floor. Mitch ran without skate guards, and the horrible noise that was made when his blades hit the floor was enough to make him cringe violently. Which caused him to slip. Which sent him sliding into the nearest stall, where he crawled. 

The nausea came out of nowhere, which no one will believe. So he’ll get chewed out by the trainers, coach, Morgan and JT (which will be simultaneous and awful) and probably Freddie since he was there when Mitch had to suddenly stop talking and skate for his life. 

Literally.  _ Literally  _ skate for his life, because if he threw up on Freddie’s pads, he either would’ve died from embarrassment, or the goalie would’ve taken his head off with his stick. 

“In fact he said you looked very green- holy shit Marns, you look like death.”

Zach appears with a worried look on his face. They’re both still in their practice gear, but Mitch has to imagine he looks worse than he thinks.

He waves, barely managing to move his hand from where he’s clinging to the toilet. He still has his gloves on. “Hey Hyms.” 

Zach has about three seconds to looks extremely concerned, then Mitch is leaning forward to heave again. 

He sort of loses track of things after, if not because his stomach is twisting itself into knots and he is shaking so hard he doesn’t think he could move if he tried.

Somehow, through some series of events he ends up on an exam table in a quiet room curled around a bucket. His gear is off and he’s just in his Under Armour, which is  _ not  _ enough to keep him warm.

“Trainers said we can take you home after practice.” A voice floats over to him, sounding far away probably because Mitch is half asleep. He barely registers the words, still stuck on the pain in his stomach and burning sensation of his throat. So much so that he almost misses the blanket getting draped over him. It’s super thin and a little scratchy but it feels so nice, so he makes a sound of thanks and curls tighter underneath it.

(He doesn’t miss the hand that palms his forehead, or the soft murmur of words that tell him to go back to sleep, but he’s not entirely sure any of it’s real, so he lets it go.)

  
  


**2.**

“Oh  _ shit- _ ”

“Fuck fuck fuck, Marns are you okay-”

“-do you not have eyes, you moron-”

“I wasn’t  _ aiming  _ for him!”

“You still hit him, fuck Mitchy are you okay?”

Mitch blinks dizzily up at the sky. Clouds shouldn’t be moving like that.

“I’m  _ great _ .” He slurs. 

He is not great. 

In fact, he might even be so not great that the hospital thing Willy and Auston are arguing about might just be a good idea.

Turns out getting hit in the head with a baseball is a not so fun time. Who knew?

“What the fuck did you do to Mitch?!” A flat but still salty sounding voice cuts through the air. Mitch blinks and tries to focus but all that manages to do is make Austons face turn really blurry. And split into three. 

That voice is Kappy though, and where Willy  _ and  _ Kappy are, then Zach can’t be far behind, and Mitch really doesn’t want to have to get carried again. He still hasn’t lived down the incident at practice, despite it being _ six weeks ago _ and not being his fault at all.

Apparently Zach barely practiced that day. Also apparently Mitch was so out of it that he managed to end up at Hyms' house and didn’t realize it so when he woke up the next day he was so confused, he thought he’d been kidnapped.

A pair of knees hit the grass next to him and his body tells him that the whole ground dips like they were on a trampoline. He flails, smacks Auston in the face and is then effectively held down. 

He wonders if this is what drugs feel like.

“ _ Mitch _ .”

“I swear it wasn’t my fault this time.” He mumbles, trying to get his lips to work. He’s not sure he succeeds.

Pros of having a three day break in California - seeing as its the middle of winter, they get to enjoy nice weather, go outside and not freeze their nuts off.

Cons of having a three day break in California - a bunch of hockey players decide they should try a sport they have no business trying, and now Mitch is pretty sure he’s going to be sitting out against the Sharks tomorrow.

Zach smiles at him and Mitch smiles back like his brain tells him too, and his heart rate picks up on it’s own and there's a weird fluttering feeling in his gut that's like butterflies but not nervous ones like happy ones and-

Fucking shit.

“We’re going to hospital okay Marns?”

“You’re so nice.” He says back. Auston rolls his eyes but Zach smiles again and  _ yes _ , good, he likes that.

He likes Zach.

He also needed to get beaned in the head with a baseball to figure that out, so maybe he’ll just keep it to himself for a while.

**…**

The hospital goes like this - Zach yells at Willy, Willy blames it on Auston, Auston says it’s Mitch’s fault for not ducking and Mitch freaks out so bad when they come near him with a needle that he convinces Zach to let him hold his hand. Kappy films the entire thing while laughing hysterically. The nurse rolls her eyes at all of them and seems to take joy in threatening them when they refuse to leave the room.

Honestly, it all works out very well for Mitch. 

He doesn’t need an IV but he does need some stitches on the cut he got because apparently when Matty hits a baseball he does so at like, four hundred miles an hour. 

It’s only three or whatever, but it’s still needles. Mitch doesn’t do needles. He’s so not into needles that he passed out the last time the leafs gave flu shots. Which makes his tattoo the irony to end all ironies. (It was _different_, shut  up  Auston.)

**3** . 

So the flu shot thing wasn’t some fluke. 

He might  _ tell  _ everyone that it was, that he just forgot to eat that day and he was exhausted, but it absolutely was not a one off thing. He’s always freaked out around needles, and it’s only gotten worse since he grew up. Auston and Willy sort of know about it, but they laughed when he mentioned it and so they never really got the whole gist of exactly how bad it is for him. 

It’s just so  _ stupid _ . He knows, logically, that shots do not cause a lot of pain, and he knows, logically, that he’s felt much worse and that he needs them because they help him and all that fun not getting sick stuff. 

_ Logically _ , a hockey player being afraid of needles feels really dumb.

Irrationally, he figures that a flu shot is not like a vaccine, and that they’re really just guessing with whatever strains of the virus they put into it, and that he could get the flu shot but still get the flu, so really what’s the point of getting it? 

“The  _ point  _ is, that your job requires you be on planes a lot, and to go to various parts of an entire continent and mingle with various groups of people, and you are a  _ hockey player _ which means that the flu for you would very easily develop into pneumonia that you would have a difficult time fighting off at this point in the season.” Paul says, glaring at him with his arms crossed.

Mitch shrinks into his stall a little bit. Paul had been great about not approaching him about it while other people were around, but he also made sure that Mitch stayed behind while everyone else left for the ice.

Shit.

“Okay, but I’ve never-”

Paul shuts him up with a flat look. “And it’s mandatory.” 

Mitch opens his mouth to say something, or possibly provide a distraction so he can sprint from the room and hide somewhere, when -  _ naturally _ , like Mitch wasn’t nervous enough - Zach walks in.

“What’s mandatory?” He asks, brow furrowed in that cute confused way that happens when there’s something important happening that he doesn’t understand. It’s rare, but Mitch loves trying to invoke the expression. “Hey Mitchy.” 

“Hi.” Mitch gives him a small wave and tries not to blush (which  _ does not work _ , fucking hell). Zach smiles at him, then frowns when he sees that Mitch isn’t in practice gear. 

“Are you not practicing? Did you get hurt?”

Paul looks between him and Zach for moment, then perks up. Mitch literally sees the light bulb go on above his head.

“He just needs to get his flu shot.” Paul interject, and ohohoho, he thinks he’s smart does he? Mitch is going to kill him. With a puck. Make it look like an accident and everything. Auston will help him bury the body.

“Do  _ not- _ ” Mitch hisses, but it’s useless, because Paul is responsible for the medical needs of twenty plus hockey players, so he takes no shit and does not care. 

“Oh.” Zach frowns. “I thought we got those like two weeks ago.”

“Oh you did, Mitchy just has a little bit of a phobia of needles and have been avoiding it.”

“I have not been  _ avoiding- _ ” He yelps, and Paul-

“ _ Sorry _ , he’s been hiding from me.”

-will be dead before Zach gets back out to practice at this point. Mitch is seriously considering this. He’ll get his own episode in Making a Murderer. It’ll be great.

Zach looks from Paul to Mitch and then back again. He doesn’t even laugh at Mitch, which is such a Zach Hyman thing to do. He looks completely sincere - maybe even a little worried.

But that might be Mitch’s entirely too optimistic imagination.

“Does having another person help? I can talk to coach about taking five.”

Mitch freezes for a second too long.

“ _ No _ .” He manages, a beat after Paul has smiled all angelically and said _yes_. 

“Great, I’ll talk to coach, you get him in the room.” 

Zach nods, still looking confused as Paul leaves. Mitch says nothing, and Hyms coughs, a small polite little thing that has him standing up and stomping his way to the trainers room, getting up on a exam table, and glowering at the floor. 

Zach follows, all silent and calm and not judging at all, and it’s infuriating. How dare he be so nice.

Like. Mitch was already going to fall for him, because Mitch can admit that Zach has a very nice face and that Mitch sort of loved him already just for the moments that he smiled. But did he  _ really  _ have to have such a great personality too? Did he have to make Mitch feel smart whenever they had a conversation? Did he have to make Mitch feel wanted and appreciated every day just by being around him? Did he _ have to _ make Mitch feel like he’d give everything just to have one more minute of Zach's attention?

Did he have to do all that, and not like him back?

It’s got to be obvious, is the thing. If Paul can take one look at his face and immediately know that Zach is the only person on the team that would be able to get Mitchy to sit still for a needle, then it must be. That’s not surprising, he’s been told he wears his heart on his sleeve. 

So it’s obvious. And it hasn’t been going on forever, but it’s been- well. Essentially since they met.

A hand on his jolts him out of his thoughts. He looks up, startled at Zach's proximity to him. He didn’t even hear him move.

“I was gonna ask how bad your phobia was, but considering the fact that Paul isn’t even in here and you’re already shaking, I feel like that would be dumb question to ask.”

Mitch smiles, but it’s watery. “And you don’t ask dumb questions.”

Something flickers across Zach’s face, too fast for Mitch to catch. He isn’t smiling anymore though, expression much more serious. He takes a deep breath, and it occurs to Mitch that they are actually really close. So close that they’re practically sharing the same air.

He tilts his head to the side, confused at the sudden change in demeanor. Zach isn’t even looking at him anymore.

“Hyms-”

“Mitchy, I-”

They speak at the same time, and both cut off as Paul enters the room. 

Zach steps back, but doesn’t drop his hand. Which is great. He is shaking a little bit. Didn’t even notice, but now that he feels Zach’s steady hand on his, he can feel everything. His hearts going way to fast and he knows the feeling of when his body’s released adrenaline, but he’s got nothing to focus it on. He knows what this is, and he’s headed straight for a panic attack. 

They get it over with. He doesn’t pass out this time, which is great, because Zach is there through it. What’s less great, is that- 

Well, Zach is there. And when Mitch is scared he seeks contact, which he knows about himself and is another reason he really misses Marty. Marty used to do this with him, and he wouldn’t laugh or say anything, but he’d drive Mitch home after and stay until he stopped shaking. It was great. Lots of very manly cuddling. 

Last year he had no one. This year, he finds himself hiding his face in Zach's chest and hyperventilating. It’s not completely ideal, because Zach is still dressed for practice, so there’s a lot of material between him and Mitch.

It’s over fast, like it always is, but Zach doesn’t leave like Mitch would expect him too. He stays standing in front of Mitch, hugging him tight while he considers the embarrassment he’s sure he’ll feel once he’s calmed down. But for at fifteen minutes afterwards, he decides to enjoy their close proximity and let his anxiety manifest itself in how hard he clings to Zach. 

Hyms, for his part, lets him cling and murmurs random but ultimately comforting things while Mitch tries to calm down. It’s all very nice and kind of him, but he eventually goes to practice, and Mitch is left with the knowledge that he just had a rather tame (for him) panic attack over a needle.

In front of his crush. On his crush? He feels like that was technically on his crush.

He also feels like something is missing the second that Zach leaves, like his anchor he gone leaving him unsteady once more. So maybe crush isn’t the right word anymore.

**4** .

“Literally, this is the worst possible thing that could happen to me.”

“I assure you,” Auston starts, not even looking up from his phone. “This is not even close to the worst thing that could happen.”

“You don’t even know what happened!” He yells, kicking his feet through the air. He’s currently siting upside down on Matty’s couch, whining until Willy gets back from whatever it is Willy does when he texts Mitch and asks him to come over and entertain Auston. If Mitch were a little more pessimistic, he might suspect cheating, except that he’s spent more than five minutes with Auston and Willy, and he knows that they’re probably going to elope soon.

Maybe he’s ring shopping.

“I don’t know what happened because you won’t tell me.” Auston snaps, and ah, yeah. 

“You’ll laugh.” Mitch says back snippily. Auston is his best friend, but there is a reason that Zach is now the only teammate who knows about Mitchy’s needle issue. Or- he’s the only one who knows its that bad.

There’s a long suffering sigh. Mitch turn his head to glare. Matty  _ still _ hasn’t looked up from his phone.

“Rude.” He mutters. Auston’s gaze flickers over to him, but doesn’t linger.

“How am I the rude one? You miss practice, won’t tell me why, spend the entire time in the trainers room and then don’t answer my texts for two days. I had to find out through Mo if you were okay and Hyms looking like someone punched his-”

Matty abruptly cuts himself off, eyes raising to the wall for a moment while his face forms a sort “ _ Oh _ ” expression. 

And then he looks at Mitch. Like. Actually looks at Mitch. And his expression is like- 

Mitch feels himself pale. “Oh god.” He says weakly. 

“Did you two kiss?!” Auston screeches, nearly tossing Mitch of the couch. 

“No! What the fuck!?!?” He yells, but it’s too late, because Mitch’s life if like a sitcom and Willy walks through the door right as Auston pounces on him.

Anyone else, they probably would’ve been freaking out if they walked in on their boyfriend on top of their best friend. Willy just tosses his keys on the counter and asks that Auston “Get off of Mitchy before you squish him, would you please babe, because I don’t need Zach beating me into the ground because I got Mitch hurt.”

“He kissed Hyms!” Auston yells. Mitch knees him, narrowly missing his junk. Matty lets out an  _ ‘oof’  _ and rolls off of him. 

“I did  _ not _ .  _ Kiss _ .  _ Zachary _ .” He yells, hoping that neither of them hear the little bit of disappointment in his voice.

Judging by the looks sent his way, his hopes are in vain.

“So what happened.” Willy asks, this time much less assuming, doing something with some bags in the kitchen. Mitch wanders in and sees that he brought Chipotle. 

Mitch loves Chipotle. This is well known. Auston walks in and starts unpacking the food, sharing a look with Willy. It’s all much too convenient, and Mitch has a moment of realization right there in their kitchen.

These bastards have been planing this. 

Willy turns around and slides him a container with his favorite combo in it, further confirming his thoughts. “Okay, if we both promise not to laugh, or smirk, or judge you in anyway, will you tell us what happened?”

He hates his friends.

“No.” Mitch says around a mouthful that he picked with his hands. Matty wordlessly slides him a fork. He reconsiders slightly. “But I’ll tell you the gist of it.”

Auston actually looks a little hurt at that. “Why don’t you trust me?”

Willy smacks Auston in the arm. “This isn’t about Marns trusting you, this about him and Zachy.” He smiles all prettily up at Mitch, like that will get him to open up. While he wants to thank Willy for not turning this into something else, he also knows that now he  _ has  _ to tell them something.

Like. They did bring him Chipotle. And Willy has oddly been not a dick about it.

“I had a really bad panic attack.” He decides. “And Zach was there to help.”

The two flat looks he gets are nearly identical.

“What? That’s what happened. And we aren’t talking about it.” He says primly, taking a bite of chicken.

“Okay.” Willy says. 

Auston nods. “Sure.”

Mitch looks between the two of them and sighs.

**…**

“God I hate both of you.” Mitch slurs, stumbling over his feet as he tries to pick his head up. His breath makes little white puffs in the air. They’re not perfect but very pretty. Sort of like Auston and Willy.

“Love you too buddy!” One of them yells. Mitch is way to drunk to figure out who. Plus, it’s not really that important. 

Not when Zach is standing in front of him in nothing but a pair of sweats and the softest looking t-shirt Mitch has ever seen. Looking all domestic like that. Unfair.

“I’m sorry my pajamas are giving you an existential crisis.” Hyms says from the doorway, reaching out to grab Mitch’s arm as he bumbles his way up the steps.

Mitch nods, even thought he didn’t mean to say that out loud. “I threw up in your bushes.” He responds happily. 

Zach sighs, but it’s a fond thing. Everything Zach does around Mitch is fond. He’s so nice.

And cute. And his smile is really something to write home about it. Honestly, Mitch could be one of those old timey Victorian ladies, writing long wistful letters about how his loves hair is the perfect shade of chestnut and how his eyes sparkle like stars and how he really wishes that Zach would just kiss him already, because it seriously is a downer on his mood whenever he realizes that Zach will never like him back.

“Okay Mitchy, that’s- that’s enough buddy.” 

Mitch nods like he understands Zachs words, but he really doesn’t. He doesn’t understand a lot of things, like why Auston and Willy decided they should drink on a Tuesday, and why they drove him to Zach’s house instead of just letting him crash at their place. 

Come to think of it, they weren’t really that drunk. 

Well they might’ve been, Mitchy is just really bad at Mexican, and he’s even worse at Up The River, and-

“Are you? Taking my shoes?” He asks - giggles?- and stares up at the ceiling. He’s in a bed. Doesn’t know when that happened, but it did. 

“Yes, because we don’t sleep with our shoes on.” Hyms says patiently. 

“Do it all the time!” He yells back, flailing a little bit, but that makes the mattress squish and he doesn’t enjoy the dizziness that follows so he settles down again. 

“Not in a bed, Mitchy.”

He pouts. “Well, I like beds. And sleep. That’s were you sleep, in a bed.”

“Oh my god, Marns, buddy, please go to sleep.”

“M’kay.” He giggles again. His eyes are already closed. Can’t believe Zach didn’t know that. 

He does intend to sleep, because he is very tired and a very small voice in his brain is letting him know that tomorrow is going to be absolute hell. 

But another voice, this one much less rational, is saying that he can’t go to sleep because he is in Hyms’ bed, and Hyms is not there next to him.

So he gets his eyes back open, and Zach isn’t even in the room! Which is rude, and frankly irresponsible. He has to sleep, it’s like one in the morning. What the hell is he doing.

“Zaaaaaach.” He calls, probably way too loud considering how fast Hyms comes running into the bedroom.

“What, Mitchy?”

Mitch pats the bed next to him. “You’re supposed to sleep in a bed.” He mumbles. God he’s tired. Tomorrow is going to suck balls.

Zach run a hand through his hair and slowly breathes out of his nose.

“Fine.” He says, almost to himself. “You won’t remember this anyway.”

Mitch smiles, wiggling a little bit to be more under the covers. Zach rolls his eyes at Mitch’s little “Yay!” that he lets out when Zach gets in bed with him. Mitch rolls over and snuggles into Zach’s side. He seems tense for some reason.

“Now will you sleep?” He gets asked, like the small child he’s...probably acting like to be honest.

“Will you stay?” Mitch slurs back, already drifting off.

He barely hears Zach respond, in such a hushed whisper he’s almost sure he imagined it.

“Always Mitchy. Always.”

  
  


**5** .

“You’re gonna be okay.” Zach tells him, but the lights keep moving above his head and the world keeps slipping away from him, and he thinks that, for the first time in his life, Zach might be wrong about something. 

“It’s gonna be okay Mitchy. It’ll be okay.”

He reaches out, looking for something, anything to hold onto. Zach’s hand find his, and he squeezes. Mitch squeezes back. 

“I don’t know what happened.” He mumbles, still looking up at the lights. Sometimes. Actually his eyes might be closed. Or they were closed, but are now open. That sounds right. 

He’s not moving anymore, actually. He is very very still. That is much better. Now if his thoughts could stop moving so fast that would help.

Someone startles next to him, and then a soft laugh is drifting over his head. He smiles, because Auston! His mouth feels weird. Everything is sort of soft and his throat is sore and he’s very tired.

“You’re fine Mitchy.”

He frowns. That’s not Auston. “M not hurt? In a hospital Mo, that’s...not good.” He’s still slurring a bit. Holy hell his throat hurts. It hurts so bad he almost wants to throw up, but he thinks that would everything much, much worse.

“No you’re gonna be okay. It wasn’t hockey related. In a lot of pain for a while, because apparently getting your tonsils out as an adult is much more painful than a kid. So we’ve been told.”

His  _ tonsils?! _

“The fuck.” He rasps, peeling his eyes back open to see the A standing next to his bed. Auston is camped out in a chair, grinning like a madman. It’s slowly getting easier to keep his eyes open, his head unclouding the longer he’s awake. The problem is the pain is getting progressively worse as well.

“Yeah, you might not remember but you got really sick.”

“Again?”

Matty laughs, but it sounds sort of relieved. “Well you didn’t throw up on anyone this time, if that’s what you’re asking. You had a pretty high fever though, so I broke down your apartment door, took you in and then was told your tonsils were like...super inflamed? Or infected. I don’t really remember the conversation, but it turns out you are  _ very  _ clingy when you’re coming off of anesthesia.”

Mitch blinks a few times.

Oh. 

Oh  _ no _ .

“Zach.” He says weakly. 

“Wouldn’t stop asking for him.” Auston chirps happily, still smiling. “In fact you actually started crying.”

“You started off fine with Auston, but then he didn’t work so Willy came in, and then it was me for a while,” Mo says, smiling. “But then just no one would do, so we called coach, dragged Zach out of practice  _ again _ , and made him stay until you got out.”

He hates his team.

“Oh  _ god _ ,” He moans. “How bad was I?”

“Not horrible.” Auston shrugs. Mo makes an aborted attempt at holding in a laugh. “You just waxed poetics about his smile for fifteen minutes and then nearly had a panic attack. He had to hold your hand all the way through recovery because you wouldn’t calm down otherwise. Also you’re going to spend a few days at his place to make sure you’re taken care of.”

He looks towards the ceiling as Matty finally joins Mo in his laughter. “I’m going to bodily eject myself out of a third story window.” 

“You can survive that actually,” Mo points out, still giggling a little bit. Mitch doesn’t understand how this is all that hilarious. “But seriously Marns, how is all this that bad? The guy you really like is going to be taking care of you for a few days. So what?”

“After I’ve basically told him I love him.” He points out, gritting his teeth as his neck starts to throb.

“Okay, but he obviously doesn’t care. Like he’s not offended or anything, Zach wouldn’t cut you out because of that.” 

“No that’s the point,  _ Auston _ .” Mitch snaps, because he’s in pain and this really is not that funny. It’s actually the opposite of funny. “I’ve probably told him that I like him about a thousand times now, and he hasn’t said  _ anything  _ back. He. Does not. Like me. And it’s so fucking awkward that I have to be around him with this glaringly obvious crush and then you guys think it’s so hilarious to see us together so you put us in these situations that just make everything  _ worse _ !”

He’s yelling by the end, and god that’s a mistake. Talking is a mistake. Existing is generally a mistake at this point Jesus Christ this hurts so bad. His throat is  _ throbbing _ .

There’s a moment of quiet where Mitch squeezes his eyes shut and tries to breath through the pain. Auston is gripping his hand, and Mitch grips it back, probably to the point that it’s hurting Aus but he doesn’t make a noise.

Eventually it gets  _ slightly _ more manageable, enough that he can open his eyes a little and steady his breathing. Christ, he’s got at least four more days of this. On much less fun drugs.

“Mitchy,” Matty says, quiet. “I’m sorry, I thought you knew.”

“Yeah,” Mo says, his dad voice coming out to match his now serious expression. “I wouldn’t have- we wouldn’t have made fun of you if we thought you knew.”

Auston frowns. “Is this why you wouldn’t talk to me? Because you thought I was making fun of you?”

“You  _ were  _ making fun of me.” Mitch points out. 

“Well- yeah, but because I thought you knew about Zach.”

“What does that even mean?” He snaps. He doesn’t feel good. He just wants to go home and get some sleep and take some drugs that can maybe put a dent in the pain he’s dealing with.

Morgan looks pained. “Okay, if you don’t- um. I won’t say anything, because - and I know this sounds shitty - but if you don’t know then we really shouldn’t be the ones to tell you. But you should- ask him. Or least, tell him how you feel. When you’re coherent.”

“Sure.” Mitch nods. “Never happen. I don’t need more rejection thank you.”

“No, Mitchy that’s not-”

“Everyone all set in here?” A new voice interrupts whatever Mo is going to say. A nurse smiles pleasantly at them from the doorway, and once she sees Mitch is awake and talking goes about explaining things to him about the surgery and what he needs to do at home. A few other people come and go and the IV gets taken out and he’s given a prescription for Percocet instead of Vicodin (“It works a lot better”, the nurse tells him with a wink) to fill up at the pharmacy.

Then he’s discharged and on the way to Zach's house, and no one has clarified a single thing. He doesn’t think he really cares.

  
  


**+1 (sorta)**

  
  


“Well lets see, so far he has: made sure you didn’t die from a nasty stomach bug by bringing you back to his place, brought you to a hospital to make sure you weren’t dying from a brain bleed, helped you down from a panic attack, and recently, he took care of you while you were completely smashed.” Auston ticks off his fingers with each point. “Which I can say from experience, is not an easy thing to do.”

“Excuse you, I am not hard to deal with when drunk!” Mitch protests as he shifts weight from foot to foot. Coach is being extra tense today, whistle shrill and commanding as they speed through drills.

“You’re very clingy. It makes it hard to do things like get you into bed, when all you want to do is hug someone.” Willy comments from the other side of Auston. “Also, there was whatever happened after your tonsils.”

Mitch tenses and forces his eyes to track Hyman’s line as they move down the ice. “Did he say anything to you guys about that?” 

He misses nonchalant by about a mile, but Aus and Willy haven’t really been teasing him about it so much. 

“He didn’t say a word, and trust me, Willy asked.” Matty responds, tone carefully neutral. Mitch looks over to see Willy’s face color slightly. He shrugs when Mitch raises an eyebrow at him.

“What? We were worried okay? You didn’t talk to anyone for like three days, and Zach looked- um, not the best.”

“That was  _ literally  _ the worst pain of my life.” Mitch says instead of choosing to deal with whatever Willy was trying to imply. He doesn’t actually remember a lot of what went on at Zach’s place after his surgery, but he knows he was drugged to the gills and cried on Zach’s shoulder more than...well it was a lot, is all. He couldn’t even move, it hurt so bad the first day. He just lied on the couch and sobbed. 

He feels bad about it, and for a long time now he’s wanted to figure out a way to repay Zach. Because Mitch was raised a certain way and he’s sort of terrified that he’s annoyed Zach by being so needy and really wants to show that he can do more than that.

Zach wasn’t really someone who ever looked like he needed help.

In fact, the more Mitch has watched, the more he realizes that Zach was almost constantly the one helping. To the point that he never seems to have time to need help.

Mitch can’t figure out when he makes time to get dressed everyday considering how he’s always helping someone else. Getting Auston tape, making Mitch drink a Gatorade, dropping off a special brew tea in Willy’s stall and a strong coffee in Kappys...all in the first five minutes of his normal routine. It’s amazing to watch him work, honestly.

It not really surprising then, that Zach never really every  _ asks  _ for anything. Mitch sort of a finds a road block in his plan with that, because- well how is he supposed to help someone back when they never seem to need it?

He thinks he could guess, or try to do some recon with the team, but they’re all hockey players, and it’s with a cruel irony that the most sublte person he knows is Zach. 

So then the best way to find out what he could do is to ask, but that sort of...doesn’t work. Not that Mitch doesn’t try (boy, does he try) it’s just that it’s Zach Hyman, and Zach Hyman apparently, Has Never Needed Help Ever.

Which means this all amounts to Mitch desperately trying to do something nice for Zach, being super awkward because of this, and then getting shot down. It’s been weeks since his stupid tonsils decided to up and die, and Mitch is totally (mostly) back to normal, yet every time Mitch tries to do something for Zach, he manages to turn it around and do something for Mitch. It’s almost infuriating. He does it  _ so well _ , Mitch doesn’t even notice its happening until Zach disappears half the time.

This time though, he refuses to let it get turned around.

“I don’t need tape, but if you do, I can-”

Mitch stares at him. “ _ I _ was the one who offered to get  _ you  _ tape, so clearly I do not need it, and you’re going to have to do your stick sometime-”

Zach give him a funny look. “It’s already done Mitchy, don’t worry about it.”

He frowns, trying to think of something else to say. This feels like it’s heading towards horribly awkward again, but Mitch is silently triumphant that he managed to not get it turned around on him. “Okay, well I could- um. I could-”

“Mitchy.” Zach stops him with a hand on his shoulder. “What is going on with you?”

He opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water, but no words come out. Mitch’s brain short circuits for a moment at the contact, which is a total and utter mistake, because it allows Zach to pull him over to a quieter part of the arena. Mitch is not quiet, and he knows this, and he knows that not responding combined with his recent increase in weird behavior has just cemented in Zachs mind that somethings up.

Great.

“Okay,” Zach says, and Mitch looks around the very empty hallway they’re in. He didn’t think quiet hallways existed in this arena this close to game time. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“Nothing is- nothing is going on, why would you- um, why would something be going on?”

Zach raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. “Well, in the past week you have asked me if I was okay about three times a day, asked me if I needed tape twelve times, tried to bring me coffee four times even thought I told you not too because I’m super picky about it, offered to drive me home another four times, and when you aren’t aggressively trying to slave away for me, you look...really sad.”

Mitch feels his face turn more and more red the longer Zach talks, and he sort of wants to disappear. This is a million times worse than Hyms doing something for Mitch. In fact this might just be the single most embarrassing thing he’s ever had to do. And that’s saying a  _ lot _ .

“If there’s something I can help with-”

“No!” He snaps, taking a step back and furiously trying not to do something stupid like cry. “No, I don’t want you to do  _ anything _ .” 

It’s not fair to Zach, is the thing. Zach has been so good about this, and he’s such a nice person, but it  _ hurts _ . This- this stupid  _ thing  _ that Mitch has for him, it’s not Zach’s fault. But it’s gone from a tiny crush to full blown ‘ _ oh fuck I love him _ ’ and Zach knows, he has to know, but he doesn’t do anything or say anything and Mitch is walking around in love with someone who doesn’t love him back. And to get little pieces of him, little bits of Zach - those little moments of closeness, of Zach  _ caring  _ for him, worrying over him, it’s - 

It hurts. 

He’s been so desperately trying to ignore it, to do something for Zach because then maybe he can feel like he’s doing more than being a burden. Like if he helps Zach, then maybe in Zach’s eyes he isn’t some stupid kid with a crush, he’s- he’s-

“Look,” He sighs. “I was just trying to help you out okay? The same way you’ve helped me.”

Hyms looks sort like Mitch just slapped him and told him to quit hockey.

“Mitchy, I- I don’t-”

“Yeah, I know you don’t.” Mitch sighs, and slips past Zach to walk back towards the locker room. “See you around, Hyms.”

**…**

Willy stares at him for so long that Mitch thinks he might’ve broken the Swede.

Auston throws some popcorn at his face and it almost get in his boyfriends slightly open mouth. Willy sputters, hits Auston in the arm, and then goes back to staring at Mitch.

“Wow,” He says finally, right as Auston manages to kill Mitch’s character in Cod. “I didn’t actually think you could fuck up this badly.”

“Thank you,” He grumbles, curling up tighter on the edge of the couch. “I needed that.”

“Okay so like-” Auston kicks him lightly and Willy just slides his controller over to convey his intention of not playing anymore. Matty starts a new game without saying a word. “The thing you gotta know about Zach, is that he like- he doesn’t do...help. Like, people helping him? He freaks out about it.”

He narrows his eyes over at Willy. During his lapse in concentration, Auston kills him again and looks entirely too happy about it. 

“Okay look-” Willy leans forwards and gets this look like he’s about to explain a play. “He’s been able to turn around every one of your attempts to help right?”

Mitch nods skeptically. “Right…”

“So that’s not just a you thing, he does that to  _ everyone _ . He helps people sure, and he’s stupid about you, but when it comes to people trying to help  _ him- _ he can’t let them. He’s been the caretaker roll for so long that he thinks if he’s not helping someone then he’s not being useful. Or he thinks people won’t want him around. And I got this straight from his mouth, even if he was very drunk at the time.”

“So,” Mitch waves a hand around. “It’s not you, it’s me, sorta thing?”

“Exactly!” Willy smiles, then stops. “Wait, no, that’s not what I meant.”

“Seems like it. He obviously knows by now that I like him - don’t think I’ve forgotten about how you guys got me drunk - but he’s done nothing, so he doesn’t like me, so why are we-”

“Look, Hyms is just as stupid as you sometimes.” Auston says. “Willy’s trying to...uh, say something without  _ actually  _ saying it.”

Mitch gives him a flat look.“Yeah hey, that doesn’t make any sense.”

Auston throws a pillow at him. “Just listen to what he’s  _ not  _ saying okay?”

Mitch takes the pillow and hugs it to his chest. “That makes  _ even less sense _ .”

“Okay, look- Marns, buddy I love you, but you are being really dense right now.”

“Gee,  _ thank you  _ Willy, this is all really just what I needed-”

“No, no no listen, I _cannot _tell you how Zachary Hyman feels about you okay?” Willy is giving him a sort of look, putting extra emphasis on certain words. “But I would not tell you to ask him out unless I knew it would work, right?”

Mitch stares at him for a long moment before-

“Oh.” He shifts. “Wait really? Did he tell you that he-”

“By oath, he didn’t tell me  _ anything _ .” Willy says, making a stupid sort of movement with his eyebrows. “And I didn’t tell  _ you  _ anything  _ he  _ might’ve  _ hypothetically  _ told me.”

He nods fast. “Right yeah of course, I mean...yeah. Right. You didn’t say anything at all.”

Auston cheers, killing Mitch’s character  _ again _ , which is extremely unfair because he didn’t even agree to a new game, but it moves all their attention back to the TV.

This is fine. He can- he can work with that.

...

It takes a few days to get everything in order, and they have a road trip, but he’s got a plan ready to go for their next home practice.

“Hey Hyms!” He calls, doing his best to act as casual as possible, which is- dumb. Mitch being causal is a sure fire way to get a  _ lot  _ people to pay attention to him.

Mitch is not ever this cool, or calm, or collected. Not even on the ice.

Sure enough, Zach makes his way over equally as casual while he sips his iced coffee. The one Mitch got him, because he’s awesome and finally figured out his coffee order (he owes Kappy, like, for the rest of his life, bu whatever.)

He also might be terrified this plan won’t work, so he’s maybe, possibly, hypothetically, trying to get Zach in a good mood, so he might give Mitch some pity points and say yes.

“What’s up?” Zach smiles, sipping obnoxiously from his straw. A move he copied straight from Mitch, so this should go well. It’ll probably go well.

It better go well or Mitch is going to run away to Dallas and never come back.

He takes a deep breath, still pretending to be busy with his skates. “Wanna do me a favor?”

Zach tilts his head to the side, still slurping. Mitch raises an eyebrow and Zach smiles in response, a bright, happy thing that makes Mitch look away as his face flames.

Hyms punches him in the shoulder, a motion that makes  _ Mitch  _ smile, big and stupid and a little in love. That’s really how he got into this situation honestly. Hyms and his stupid smile.

Zach says yes anyway, just because well, that’s his Thing. The urge to chirp him on it has to be squashed. His heart is already pounding at a million miles an hour, and it’s taking a lot to focus on his set plan.

“Marns?”

“What? Oh sorry.” He tears his eyes away from Zach’s face, where he was zoning out. He catches sight of Auston sitting across the room, staring at the two of them with a massive grin on his face. Like  _ he’s  _ the one about to win the lottery. Mitch makes a face at him, and Auston just grins wider.

Whatever. Mitch at least, is going to get his man. And not have his best make them fake date. 

(It’s a long story, moral of which is that Mitch is the best).

“Did you forget?”

“The favor? No.” How could he forget, he’s practically vibrating waiting to be able to say it.

“Well...you gonna ask it or am I just gonna stand here wasting time.”

Mitch pretends to be affronted, sitting back and pressing a hand to his chest. “Excuse you  _ Zachary _ , talking to me is never wasting time.”

He wants to punch himself in the face. Run flat out into a wall. Something to punish himself for not using the copious opportunity’s to say the words. This should’ve been cute, it would’ve been perfect- and instead he’s running around the words in a sudden flood of nervousness.

What if Zach says no? What if Mitch has been seriously reading this all wrong, and Zach is just being his nice guy self. What if this backfires- what if Zach outs him? What if he-

“Well I could name a few other people that conversing with would be better-“

“Go on a date with me?” Mitch blurts, then proceeds to turn the color of a tomato.

That-

Was not smooth. Not according to plan.

Damn it.

In the seconds of aftermath he gets a full view is Zach’s face. He watches it turn from calm to shocked to something almost sort of hurt, and it then there’s nothing at all and Mitch is nervous, Mitch is really really nervous now but this is  _ Zach _ , he wouldn’t hurt Mitch. He wouldn’t betray Mitch for asking.

“Marns.” He says quietly, and Mitch  _ feels  _ himself deflate. Of course it wouldn’t be no. Who would want to date him, and still see him day in and day out? Thats- he’s a lot.

“Sorry.” He murmurs, finally taking his eyes away from Hyman. He actually starts tying his skates this time, numb in the rejection but hurting with disappointment.

There’s a hand on his shoulder.

“Mitchy-”

He shakes his head. “Just forget it Zach, forget I said anything at all.”

“Did you mean it?”

There’s something like awe in Zach’s tone- something that makes him tentatively turn his head to the side.

Zach looks- sort of  _ hopeful _ .

“Yeah.” He says slowly. “I meant it- maybe I could take care of you for once.”

Hyms smiles, small and surprised maybe, but a smile nonetheless. Mitch feels his heart do the flutter thing, and-

“Yeah. I mean- yes. Sure. I will- do that. With you.”

“Okay.” Mitch says, right as he decides that nervous, stuttering Zach is his new favorite thing and he can’t wait to find ways to get that reaction again.

“Should I- um, text you, or do you want-“

“I’ll pick you up. Friday’s an off day right?” He smiles, and it sort of feels like flying. “I get to really woo you.”

He lied. His new favorite thing is the color that rises on Zach’s cheeks as he goes adorable wide eyed. He wants to make that happen again and again and again until Zach can’t stop smiling at him like that, until he’s flushed and flustered and it’s all because of Mitch.

**Author's Note:**

> Me starting this: Just 1k of Sicfic! Cute little moments! Hair touching and blankets and tea!
> 
> Me by number three: I could make this a 10k fic. I could make this so in depth, I could do angst and pinning, I could-
> 
> My other WIPs: please, for the love of god, we are begging you to please just finish something. Just one singular thing. pLEASE.
> 
> god i need to remember how to do short things. anyway. Hope you enjoyed!!! Thanks for reading!


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